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So I think we've seen on here the general opinion of gamer guys regarding gamer girls. Gamer girls are the holy grail of dating for gamer guys. Gamer guys will offer gifts, glowing praise, or their left nut for their chance at you. They’ll even start online threads about how hot you are based on your leet gaming skills. ;-) However, while it seems that most gamer guys would GREATLY prefer to date a gamer, they feel that they are few and far between, so frequently end up dating someone with not-so-similar interests.
My question is: what is the gamer girls' take on this? Regardless of whether you’re looking for a boy or a girl, would you prefer to date a gamer than a non-gamer? Do you frequently (or ever) find yourself settling for a non-gamer because it's too hard to find someone with shared interests? Or are there a plethora of drooling gamer fanboys waiting in line for their chance to... ahem... sip from your grail?
My question is: what is the gamer girls' take on this? Regardless of whether you’re looking for a boy or a girl, would you prefer to date a gamer than a non-gamer? Do you frequently (or ever) find yourself settling for a non-gamer because it's too hard to find someone with shared interests? Or are there a plethora of drooling gamer fanboys waiting in line for their chance to... ahem... sip from your grail?
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, April 26, 2004 - 7:13 AMI was married to a non-gamer. It was extremely difficult. There's no point of reference at all. I gave up gaming because my entire gaming group seemed to marry non-gamers. We managed to pull the non-gamers into M:TG just so we'd have some sort of fix.
Funny...I find it harder to find gamer friends of people my own age. (I'm 39). I'm married to a gamer who's a decade younger than me, with even younger gaming friends. We game totally different and it's tough to find anyone to relate to who are "old school" pen & paper gamers. -
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, April 26, 2004 - 7:26 AMI am married to a gamer so I'm lucky.And I think now I would prefer to date & be around gamers,because they have a tendency (more often than not) to be into similar if not the same things eg sci-fi or tattoos more open minded in my experience (so far). Non gamers just done understand the fun you can have or relate to the same things as you do in life. So for me definately a gamer
Much Love -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, April 26, 2004 - 11:49 AMFrom what I've experienced, if I'm dating a gamer, its tons of fun because generally gamers have a more playful attitude, non gamers can sometimes be too serious and will never know what to do...so it turns into just watching movies and crap. And that stuff can get repeditive after a while, but with so many games, I'm bound to always have fun with a gamer, besides I love going out to the arcade! I'm not gonna go with someone whos just going to stand there and say "ugh...you're wasting your money"...Yea...I'm wasting it on having fun! Cause gamers rule!
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, April 26, 2004 - 6:52 PMI'm an older gamer girl too (40, Ding! Hell lvl)
I prefer to date fellow gamers. No matter how much I have in common with a non-gamer they never "get it" and that's just bad.
I also tend to have friends and/or dates with much younger people than I, simply because for the most part, that's who games. And men my age who don't game are just awful (IMO) I've settled before, but now I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather be single than, well...date outside my species *grin*
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, April 26, 2004 - 10:34 PMthe numbers are so disproportionate that this isn't even an issue for gamer men.
I date artists mostly.
I suppose every gamer grrl wants a gamer goi; but if every male gamer had that criteria, there'd be even more lonley gamers than there are. There is a muti-layered social stratta that settles mostly in the dork category of the gaming community. Some of those people would be hoplessly out of luck no matter what their interests, but still they find matches within their own ranks. I've seen more than a few gamer girls that started playing because they were already in that dating pool, and made the jump over to the community of players. now I realize that some women were attracted to games on their own merit, but female gamers being the rarer of the two genders, each example counts for a greater share of the whole.
I've never dated a gamer. maybe one day. but she should be dead sexy. beleive it or not, I'm a catch.
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 6:08 AM*wave* Huzzah to the children of the 60's! :)
I agree with you. My friends who are younger that don't game, at least understand it. Most of them have played games (mostly video or console) so understand that.
People my own age? I run into two types mostly:
1. "Oh yeah, I used to game in high school but I had to give it up for Real Life (wife made them stop, they thought it wasn't cool, whatever).
2. "Gaming is stupid (and/or for kids, losers..fill in the blank)". Of course, these types watch every single reality show an have NO creativity at all. -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 9:56 AM*waves back*
I agree with both of your assesments. It's sad but true. And don't forget the televised sports both categories seem fond of! Games for grownups? UGH.
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 10:08 AMHoly shit. Off topic...but I was born in Coos Bay.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 12:07 PMSo I'm seeing most people agreeing that they would PREFER to date gamers, but what I was really asking was whether or not you DO date gamers? Are they hard to find or easily available? -
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 12:57 PMI'm married to one, so I'd say yes. :)
But then, a lot of my hobbies involve people who are gamers. I think I've got a higher rate of finding gamers since I actively seek them out.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 3:35 PMCurrently, I don't date anyone, gamer or otherwise. I have decided that I am not even looking until I get to a place where I can find a gamer boy. I have no desire to be with a non-gamer ever again. Life is too short.
Soon though, I'll be finished with school and out of this small town. Perhaps then I'll be able to hit a few Cons and meet someone =) -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, April 27, 2004 - 8:28 PMI've been single for a decent amount of time right now, but its pretty easy for me to find gamers because I tend to meet people through friends, and 9/10 of my friends are gamers. I had a great relationship with a gamer for 2 years, i've dated a few non gamers but I was pretty young and not really into relationships as it was.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, April 30, 2004 - 6:04 PMI totally prefer to date gamer guys.. just not drooling fanboys.. (I work in the industry).
Currently I am dating a wonderful guy who doesn't mind that I just like sitting and watching him play Silent Scope.. and who doesn't mind me dragging him into one of my board games, or poker. :)
I have dated exclusively gamers since, well, since my first boyfriend I think... umm.. yeah.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Sat, May 28, 2005 - 7:00 AMTo answer your question whether I do date gamers I'd say I never looked specifically for one but the last two guys I dated were. The problem was that they were into different games so it didn't turn out to be quite as cool as it initially seemed. The first guy was into classic old games like Joust and Defender which were fun because we could play together and I was initially into the weird novelty of it, but I have to say I got bored of it fairly early on. We settled on Grand Theft Auto, which we both kind of liked, but then I was better than he was so our enthusiasm kind of fizzled out. The other guy I dated was into Soul Calibre big time and because he was soooo much better than I was, games became something we talked about rather than played together. So I guess I'd say it's hard to find the right gamer guy, yeah, but it's not hard to find guys who game.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, April 28, 2004 - 10:09 PMI prefer to date gamers...but not drooling fanboys!
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 29, 2004 - 1:31 AMsome drooling fanbois can be fun... do you read megatokyo? -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 29, 2004 - 4:21 AMwww.penny-arcade.com/view.php3
"He's not even fscking Japanese! ... He's from Wisconsin, you fscks!" -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 29, 2004 - 11:29 AMi know, it was sooo funny! otoh, they're only doing that cause they're jealous... -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 29, 2004 - 10:33 PMelfie ~ awesome question.
i'm currently engaged to a, um, not-practicing gamer?? he would if he could, but with work and all, doesn't really get too. :)
i on the other hand make all the time that i can for mine, and he loves it. when we do have time to square off, i love it. i guess i am glad that i can be w/ someone that appreciates the sport and is into it just as much as me....
i guess i wouldn't be engaged if it wasn't something that mattered!
awwww....barf! :)
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, May 5, 2004 - 9:55 PMNo, I don't...but one has to start somewhere.
-K.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 29, 2004 - 11:02 PMGot into this discussion late...
I keep trying to date gamers but it doesn't usually seem to work that way. I was married to a tabletop gamer, but he didn't like computer games. Last boyfriend I had liked computer games, just not tabletop games. Every guy I've gone out with since then seems to think my gaming is an un-fun hurdle they have to put up with. Hello??? What happened to all the gamer men in Portland? -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, May 12, 2004 - 1:30 PMWell crap! I missed the boat on THIS one...That will teach me from being away from Tribe too long. A real gamer takes his gaming ANYWAY he can... tabletop, computer (I suck at, but still enjoy), hell even LARP is good times. I wish you luck in your search... This Portland gamer guy is sorry he missed you! :)
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, May 6, 2004 - 11:35 AMI've dated both gamers and nongamers. Where I live there are tons of gamer boys and a really small group of girls, so usually the girls are in really high demand.
For me, it's more a matter of who I connect with than if they game or not. It's easier if your SO is into gaming if you intend to spend lots of time doing that because ideally you can game together. If you both game but are into different types in some ways it's not so different than dating a nongamer.
Anyhoo...that's my two cents. -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, May 6, 2004 - 4:19 PMI'm Dating a non-Gamer.
le*sigh..... -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, May 12, 2004 - 5:15 PMWell unfortunately I haven't had the priveledge of dating a gamer so I'm not really sure what I'm missing out on. All the non-gamers I've dated have been pretty good about either just kicking back and watching or getting their feet wet; always a plus considering I can kick their ass :D
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, May 17, 2004 - 6:06 PMWell my ex-husband was a pseudo gamer :P he would play only sports games (which bore me to tears) soccer, foorball, baseball, hockey...you name it he had dozens of games from just about any sport, but he thought rpg's were a waste of time....and gaming in general lame. I was there for 8 years *cries*
Not a bad guy really...but deluded about whats good in the gaming world *grins*
Anyways, I am currently with a great gamer guy (for a year and a half or so) who likes just about everything I do gaming wise (he is a bit more fascinated with FPS than I am...but eh) He is actually even more into paper gaming and larp than I am. We are now playing SWG together :D and recently we got City of Heroes as well...its a lot of fun:) The Atomic Catgirl to the rescue :D www.imagedump.com/index.cgi
I don't really know many other gamer girls in rl, but his friends all complain that they can't find one, so I suppose we really are few and far between. Don't settle girls (or guys hehe)...having a guy that doesn't mind if you spend all weekend with your face shoved in a monitor instead of hanging on his every word is amazing, and having one that wants to shove his face in a monitor and join you is even better ^_^ -
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, May 19, 2004 - 5:50 PMHey! I'm an SWG gal too! What server are y'all on? -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Tue, May 25, 2004 - 6:32 PMerm...lots lol...I have been messing around on Ahazi lately, though we both have characters on Bria, Starsider, Shadowfire, Sunrunner and Radiant as well. (the last 2 are old characters...don't play them much if at all lately)
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, May 21, 2004 - 6:54 AMMy SO is a gamer among all of our other shared interest. I have to agree with everyone... good times. =)
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, June 7, 2004 - 6:07 AMNow, when I think games, I'm thinking console-based. Usually the majority of guys I meet are the typical college schoolboy type who are into their NFL crap and their Super-Smash Brothers melees. Smash Brother's is fine, and maybe I'll even allow on some miniscule level that sporting games are fine too -- it's the testosterone-driven atmosphere and obnoxious maleness of it that I object to :) So I have a tough time finding my gamer-match.
I dated a hardcore arcade gamer once. It was fun, but he kicked my ass in fighters so much (and not only kicked my ass, but GLOATED about it constantly) that I developed blisters and a considerably impaired sense of fighting-esteem.
Honestly though, it doesn't matter much. It would be amazing if the guy I was dating happened to be into RPG's; I get thrills thinking of all the awesome conversations it could potentially generate. But it's not essential. -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, June 9, 2004 - 10:11 PMI have a question... none of you young ladies are in the Colorado Springs area are you? Figured I might as well try to find out, and maybe see what it's like to date a fellow gamer :) Never done that, but so far you ladies say it's nice. So I presume it is the same from our end. Either way, give me shout if you are. Caio
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, June 11, 2004 - 7:24 PMWhat kind of RPGs? Neverwinter, Morrowind, Dungeon Siege, Phantasy Star, City of Heroes, EverQuest, World of Warcraft, Diablo 2, Final Fantasy... can I sneak Zelda in there? ;^)
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Sat, September 11, 2004 - 12:32 PMThis is a funny question...
I can't actually answer, being a gamer GUY, but I can say that you're a hundred percent right about the holy grail and I am reading this tribe, just to reaffirm to myself that gamer girls actually EXIST out there. Now if I could just find a gamer girl that hops trains and does underground theater, I'd be in business! -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Sat, September 11, 2004 - 6:58 PMI'll second that. (though I don't require anyone to hop trains). -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 11:22 AMFor the most part, I have only dated non-gamers. On the rare occasion that I have dated somebody that gamed at all, it was either just an occasional diversion othey engaged in, or they turned it into a some kind of competition and would strongly resent it if I was better at a game than they were. (well thatwas only with one person in particular.)
But in general, I just don't seem to meet any hard core gamer girls. I know that they are out there, but with the exception of the few that I work with, I just don't meet them out in the "real world". It seems the best I can hope for is a girl that doesn't resent the fact that I play a lot of games...
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, January 17, 2005 - 2:09 PMthe vast majority of my girlfriends have not been gamers and i must admit that it has been a point of mordant contention in a fair number of cases. i agree with many on this thread in the clear assessment that the ratio of guy to girl gamer is brutally one sided when taken over the whole population. like several of the other males here, i joined this tribe out of a sense of fascination and wonder at the rare and beautiful creature that is the girl gamer. i feel compelled to discover the ecological nitch in which they thrive and to do my part to protect this precious resource. =)
you see, i'm rather obsessed with games of all types (including sports--but playing them, NOT watching them). i grew up playing all the paper and board games you could imagine, and even had a larping phase (our group actually had quite a few girls). i enjoy many the rpg, rts, platformer, fighter, and even story-based adventure games. i'm embarrasingly good at fps games, but tend to like the team based ones better than the solo types. i've just started w.o.w. and it is already clear that it will eat a sizeable chunk of my life.
between the time i like to invest in these games plus the fact that i'm a game programmer for a living (aka, heinous hours), my lady friends often feel that our quality time is threatened. this fear is only partially well founded, as i'm highly amenable to one on one time. plus i actually have many other, non gaming, interests and am very often outdoors or out on the local music scene or other such more extraverted activities (its easy to do both, just skip sleep!). many of my gfs have tried to get interested in games, but i think that gaming is like many skills/interests in that if you don't start early in life, you are likely to be daunted by or turned off by the barriers to entry. one of my goals as a developer is actually to create some games that can ease the entry for these timid virgin gamers.
in terms of whether girls like dating gamers...well, gamers are certainly more fun-loving in general, and i HAVE gotten a fair bit of positive feedback on the manual dexterity/twitch reflex advantages. =P
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, January 28, 2005 - 9:47 AMFor me, it's hard finding someone who's willing to invest the time to teach me certain things -- like RPG, D&D type things. I used to date a gamer -- but we broke up -- not because of the games but for other issues..
The gaming part was the most fun... I think I still have his dice around my house somewhere.
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, February 23, 2005 - 6:28 AMI don't think I've ever had a serious boyfriend who wasn't a gamer. I guess that answers your question, maybe....?
On the other hand, gamer guy does not equal NICE guy. There are just as many asshole gamers out there as the cool ones, so one still has to be picky. Yeah, it's important, but it's not the MOST important thing.
Funny, my friend Aaron used the EXACT words you did only a few days ago, "Gamer girls are the holy grail of dating for gamer guys."
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, February 25, 2005 - 5:44 AMHahahahahahahaha!
Not laughing at you, Robin. Laughing at the date this entire thread was started on.
Elfie, how's your search for the Holy Grail going anyway? -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, March 17, 2005 - 3:58 PMI only date gamers or geeks. They're the only one's I can relate to for any length of time. And they're so damn grateful.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, March 17, 2005 - 4:07 PMI gave up looking, then realized I had one tucked away in a box in the second bedroom. ;) -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, March 17, 2005 - 5:46 PMa guy? i didn't know you could store em like that! -
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, March 17, 2005 - 7:00 PMI always figured Elfie had been attracted to that grail-shaped beacon you had lying around... -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, March 17, 2005 - 7:02 PMBad, bad, wicked, naughty Zoot! -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Wed, April 20, 2005 - 3:39 PMNon-gamers are lame, I was with one for 1 year, ans everytime I would start a game he would let out this *sigh* like in Napoleon Dynamite, which would translate to "again". That pissed me off, it's MY thing so let me do it. Gamers rock and are always willing to give any game a chance. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Sat, May 7, 2005 - 5:09 AMMy last GF was a non-gamer never again. My last BF was OVERLY obsessed over anime and video games. The silly bastard couldn't hold a decent conversation about anythng else. I guess moderaton is th elesson I have learned.... -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, May 30, 2005 - 4:45 PMYeah... I had a GF who was into games. We took our long distance relationship into FFXI, and it killed it SO DEAD. She was interested in video games, but she was interested in playing them by herself and with other people. A gamer girl in itself is -NOT- the holy grail.
A gamer girl who actually wants a gamer guy in order to play games they both like, who wants the same type of relationship, AND if she has -other- things in common with the guy as well. And at least moderately attractive. And not mean conceited and/or distant? And they live in the same state? And reasonably near the guys age?
THAT is the holy grail. And I would have to say that when you narrow it down like that, we aren't quite so outnumbered anymore, are we? -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, May 30, 2005 - 4:56 PMyeah.
holy grail.
as in mythical and near impossob;e to find.
I concur. -
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Mon, May 30, 2005 - 7:32 PM
and furthering the metaphor: once uncovered, it's usually not what you expected to find.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 9, 2009 - 12:11 AMlet's not forget: disease-free, of the appropriate sexual orientation for you, single, of good mental health, similar future goals, similar religious believes, compatible sense of humor, a family who doesn't hate you, etc. etc.
Yeah, all these things would make a nice girlfriend. Basically an interest in video games is just one more positive quality. But yes, it probably falls somewhere between disease-free and mentally stable.
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Fri, June 3, 2005 - 11:56 AMI have been married to a non-gamer for 16 years. She understands that I have my interests and she has hers. We make room for each other in our lives.
When she is watching 'survivor' I play 'God of War'. When I play FFXI she watches knits.
I think we are discussing different aspects of the same object here. You wanted your non-gamer BF to let you have your interest. I'm just saying that non-gamers _can_ afford that room.
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Unsu...
Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, June 2, 2005 - 9:03 PMOk, I joined this tribe because of this post!
I'm not a gamer girl and I don't play one on tv. But it sure would be nice to find one.
I still love getting away from the games (love the camping), but sometimes it's just nice to sit down and blow stuff up with someone.
I agree with spider: it's nice to know there is a pretty good gamergrrl community out there.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Thu, April 9, 2009 - 6:12 AMI tend not to have any trouble finding gamers to date and pretty much as a rule only date gamers, artists, punk/goth/industrial, environmentalist/hippie types, extremely liberal ppl, freaks, etc. (And whatever other category they fall in, I find that them being a geek is a MUST).
It's not that I think: "This person must like gaming or I won't date them!" But I've just found, in my experience, that non-geeks and I just don't have enough in common. They end up thinking I'm a freak and I think they're boring.
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Re: Dating Non-Gamers
Sun, June 14, 2009 - 9:51 AMActually, guys...I have a bit of a different perspective...I'm actually a non-gamer. I am a professional artist so I understand my boyfriend's need for a creative output. I was very skeptical of the gaming thing until we had to live apart for a long time and playing WoW was a way for us to have a 'date' night from 1000 miles away. I learned the game and although he accepts the fact that I am not a gamer, me taking the time to understand him and appreciate the "game"...really helped our relationship. However, I still get very bored with it some times...but he gets really bored with one of my big hobbies, opera. So we break just about even. I will never ask him to stop playing but as we move in together and start our future together, we've just had to set a boundary and limit on our hobbies as we are needing to get full time careers, etc. (We both just graduated from grad school recently.) What I mean is, when he lived by him self and so far away, he could get away with playing wow without ever leaving his bedroom for 3 days (no exaggeration), but that kind of gaming has to stop for health reasons. So, I've learned to appreciate gaming and the more "geek" oriented creative life (as he puts it) but he and I have agreed to not do anything in such excess as we did before when single. I think that's a good compromise...and ANY relationship that lasts makes compromises...but at the end of the day, no one is asking anyone to not be themselves or to stop what they love. That is the key. I wish you all the best and it IS possible to find love among the non-gaming...just as it is to find understanding among them. Just be sure to try and understand their perspective too and to not be as judgmental as many of them are ...and it will pay off. I wish you all the best!
